God, Save The Ampersand!

by The New & Very Welcome

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released 15 September 2008

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Track Name: The Swamp Has Been Finally Drained
I swore under moonlight on nicotine and cloves that the pack of Blacks you smoke reflects the color of my soul and that my heart was too damn dark to be brought to light again.
Was I meant to die alone?
And then one night I thought that fear could fill me up.
The cold wet ground, the broken sound of breaking in and breaking windows to climb out of left nothing besides a bad dream behind my lids.
(We smoked the rest of Laura's cigarettes that she left on Eric's car floor before she drove home with Shep).
I lost my breath, I lost my head.
Oh, God, am I dead again?
But how hard is it to find something worth finding, to find something that's real to fill me up and make me feel again?
Am I talking to myself?
Is this detrimental to my health?
I forgot to leave, to love and breathe again.
Those goddam doctors will not get another dime.
And I'll get my life back together one panic attack at a time.
I'll kiss the sky and keep my insides on display.
There's no use hiding the hope pumping through my veins.
(I swore the end of my heart came when I ran to the water. I did not speak a word when he screamed my name in the dark night).
Maybe one day I'll find something that is worth finding.
Some light that will glow through my life and make me warm again, oh my God, it's so cold for this time of the year.
Track Name: A Million Different Instances
It snows here almost everyday and I know she hates the way that I sing but the things that gag and gut me are the dreams that feed my insecurities.
Sometimes, you know we do the right things for all the wrongs reasons.
Sometimes, you know we do the wrongs things for all the right reasons.
And it's you and you and you that make this hell hole a home.
And we locked our baby blues but the soulful tune was soon shattered by the realization that I may have set some inaccurate detail into stone.
And I'm spouting off things that mean little or nothing to me so maybe next time I decide to sing to someone who means something to me, I won't feel a goddamn thing.
Track Name: Thoughtsondrivingthegetawaycar
Wasting gas on wasted love driving down 91 South.
New Haven will never be my idea of an ideal destination.
And you know, I love the way it felt speeding home all by myself as the rain rushed in and soaked my arm as I evaded trucks and cars from clipping me as I changed lanes abruptly on the busy interstate.
And we watched buildings tower for what seemed like hours, pressing on and crossing county lines.
But I got to see parts of cities that I never took the time to see growing up in CT.
And you know, I love the way these things come rushing back to me like melting snow in early spring, flooding almost all of college street as I trudge on, making record time in the most unfashionable footwear that I could find.
What does that say about me?
Hate us for the places we have been and not the underlying motivation behind the trip.
Track Name: Every Good McDermott Goes West
I would love to take your hand and walk the streets of some new city to call our own and to call my new home.
But I've dreamt of the west before...
It's so cold in your room, but I would rather be there with you, because the cold isn't as cold when you have someone to hold onto.
And this town is a tomb.
I best hurry on back to you before the dead dreams and the failure grab my hand and pull me back under.
No one has ever made me look at someone the way you make me look at you when you pair my name with "I love you, too".
This is nothing but the truth darling, I would gladly spend my now until my end next to you in our room.
A girl can dream can't she?
A girl can dream.
Watch me.
Track Name: God Damned The Ampersand!
I wake up and don't know where I am for the first time in a long time, but I find your head resting right next to mine.
Oh, you make my life better.
I've not died, but I've tried.
Oh, you make my life so much better.
(God damned the ampersand!)
And last night I saw love break and beat and make a man bite the dirt, kiss the cold ground, and gasp for air.
I've been there.
(God damned the ampersand!)
And I find that love can turn the best of humans into monsters.
We're all just homewreckers in our own ways, aren't we?
But for what it's worth I still believe that love is worth it.
Oh, the melodrama, well it might just be my favorite attribute of it.
When it's all said and done and you wake up bite hard on your tongue and taste the warm blood and remember to remember to scream outloud:
"We're above ground!"