If Only I Could Apparate

by The New & Very Welcome

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John Flynn
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John Flynn The songs here make the jump from solo recordings to full band efforts excellently, losing none of the emotional impact and in some cases-- as on Twin Beds-- amplifying the feelings. Favorite track: Twin Beds.
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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Eight previously acoustic favorites re-done as a full band! Limited to 54 translucent purple cassettes!

    1. 9th Grade Poetry
    2. Chronologically Speaking
    3. Cartographic Catostrophic
    4. Twin Beds
    5. One-Two-Three, One-Two-Three
    6. Soft Ground
    7. I'm Not Sure If This City Is For Me
    8. Anti-Five


    Tape quality may vary! Tapes were dubbed to old tape and some sound better than others. Sold as is!

    Any overcharge in shipping cost to Canada and international will be refunded after exact shipping charge is determined.

    Includes unlimited streaming of If Only I Could Apparate via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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This is a group of full band recordings we did of old personal favorites to use as an introductory tour cassette! Hope you enjoy

All donations will go towards, you know, being a band, and doing things as one.

Cassette version drops FRIDAY 4/15. Pick one up at BROKEN WORLD FEST: www.facebook.com/events/203916639957336/permalink/231314430550890/


released April 15, 2016

jessica lynne mcdermott: guitar and vocals
michael everett buckland: bass
ryan lee morton: drums

additional voices on "twin beds":
abigail rebecca carrier, chelsey marie hahn, connor marie morrison, kevin kevsteve covill. paige elizabeth bailey, (jessie melendez in spirit)

additional voices on "soft ground":
abigail rebecca carrier, kevin kevsteve covill, paige elizabeth bailey

engineered by mike, and badly mixed (sorry!) by yours truly!

photo by yours truly of michael everett buckland and james walter schaeffer



all rights reserved


The New & Very Welcome Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

only bad boys try to eat their sisters arms.

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Track Name: 9th Grade Poetry
I can't tell you how I really feel, not that you'd even care to hear the news.
The lilies bloomed again a week after I saw you, a week after i told you I still want to die... See, I don't have it in me, the important parts are missing. You held me in the driveway as I started to cry. And you have been with me since the start of the ugliness that's part of being born wrong. And you have said there's "a trapdoor straight to heaven", but I can't pry it open. I still don't belong.
Everything that I ever hoped it could be, everything that I ever thought it should be, is wrong.
Track Name: Chronologically Speaking
I bite the shit out of my lip whenever I get nervous. It's still no surprise it only takes one sip to bleed my lungs, the blood, the blood, the blood, that kiss, the blood, the blood the blood... And I won't apologize to you, or anyone, for how we loved. And I know that I'm affected; fatedly unexpected. If you don't like it, then leave the room. If you can't stand it, then leave the room.
Chronologically speaking, since I met you, you've been the beat my heart's been tapping to. And I can promise that I won't flinch, but I'll cringe. And I won't apologize to her, or him, or him for how I like you. And I know, I'm misdirected; but an abrupt interjection.
If you don't like it, then leave the room. If you can't stand it, then leave the room. You never let me get a goddamn word in, regarding how broken I've been. If I have made your stomach sick, keep it close, and hold onto it. You'll never feel this fucked again.
Track Name: Cartographic Catostrophic
I have road maps implanted on the inside of my skull of the places that I've been and the places I would not dare to go again.
We both acknowledged Montcalm as we drove by, while cautiously creeping along down 89. And I closed my eyes and imagine what it would be like to die in this antiquated Buick in New Hampshire, of all places, without you.
It only takes a second to disappear on nights like these. It only takes a second for everything you love to leave you.
Track Name: Twin Beds
Playing dead, lying on the edge of my mattress. Don't breathe out or in. Oh god, don't open up your eyes. When you do, you'll realize that this is not a dream, this is everything. This is me, and I'm lying through the space between my toes. I still wince when we wake, despite us waking in our clothes. And I made my bed up nice. I'm still not sure why. You and I, we destroy it every time.
"I am honored to break your heart".
And there are books that I have read, solely because you've written notes in them. I want to be weightless, I want to jump twice, I want to dance to The Cure all night... I am honored to break your heart.
Track Name: One-Two-Three, One-Two-Three
I too scribble down sentences that strike me. Ten pins get knocked down before your eager eyes. I always seem to see things more clearly in the blindness of the night.
I abhor the facts that I can't face, and the faces that I make, when I am on the verge of mixing up my words in the most terminal of ways. I implore and I implore, because I'll never know for sure. What can I know when you'll barely budge an inch? I can know you love me dearly and that's all I need to continue...
Continue to dance the waltz in my kitchen, despite your resistance. I will lead and I will feed off our loves existence. Follow suit, and you will soon see the long lengths I'd go to keep you. Keep on dancing with me. Close your eyes, let your lids kill the light, hold me tight, hold me tight, hold me tightly.
I can't breathe as easily as I need to inside of this apartment. What a chillingly similar theme. Am I doomed to repeat?
What exactly do I deserve now?
Track Name: Soft Ground
I like to pretend that I could protect you from the darkness that I'm falling into. We can ignore this, can't we?
I want to sing old songs. Ones once relevant and always on until the silence seeps in and my breath becomes pure carbon. (If you can taste it then it's too late.)
And I will forge urgency, consistently, if it would drag you to my door. I adore you. So there, I said it... What more could you ask of me tonight?
We can ignore this, can't we?
Track Name: I'm Not Sure If This City Is For Me
The lilies bloom after I see you, but since I've been driving, I think that I'll just keep driving. And the ghastly glow of headlights lost in smoke follows me all the way back home; home, where my love lies, and where I wish that I could lie with them.
Maybe if I name drop road signs and route numbers I will seem more traveled than I'll ever be.
I guess it's not as bad as I thought it would be to have everything I love scattered across the country. But why am I even in this town if you're the only thing that makes it worth living in? I must be in too deep.
Maybe if I name drop road signs and route numbers I will seem more traveled than I'll ever be. And maybe if I sing until it's dark outside, the road that took you will be so kind as to take me.
Track Name: Anti-Five
I can not forget the way you held onto my hand, but I bet you can. And I have not ever been so brokenhearted. It was August and to be honest, those three months were the worst months of my life. But you were right, we've been on this road for a long, long time. And I never felt quite at home inside the house we called our own. You hold my heart, still, so be careful, it is fragile. Even after all the things you've e done to me, I would still give you everything. But you won't let me, so I guess I will not build you anything at all. Our garden rotted, just like our dreams, before they ever got a chance to be.
I hope you have fun out west without me.