Drowning In It!

by The New & Very Welcome

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about

This album was written at the end of my high school career. It is the culmination of the energy put into all of my past efforts. All and all, I am not satisfied with how it came out. But it was a turning point and thus, it is in some way important. It was supposed to be my first "hard copy release" but it never got that far.

credits

released 15 July 2007

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Track Name: This Song Sounds Like A Rip Off
So now I guess I’ll put it all out in the open. Onto tape and the table where I cannot hide behind blankets and pillows or liquor; clouding my judgment and my head. You’re hand’s on my hand and my hands are over my eyes as we dance and we die. Were your eyes in mine? Was my hand on your hair or your thighs as I sat on your lap with my heart in my throat and my tongue on the executioners slab? The guillotine is coming and cutting this song in half.

So here’s the story that you’ve all been dying to hear. And when you hear it you will all most certainly die and say: “Just shut up, Jess. Just give up, Jess. Just let go...” Oh, it’s so over. So here’s the story with the broken pieces and the missing parts like my memory and these horribly hungry dreams. Can I just go back to sleep.

I could say so many things right now that each of you would be sure to misconstrue. And you know that I’ll do it just to keep you confused and guessing. So here it goes: Park the car. I know exactly where you are when you leave and the rain beats harder. Why is this so, so hard? It’s so hard…

My aunt combines two of my fathers favorite things in a cake for special occasions except for that women that he will never get to love the way he wants to love her because she just won’t stop running. Am I running? Are we running, darling? “Just run, run, run!” you’ll say.

Am I the only one inside this house that feels like a fucking ghost?
Oh no…
Track Name: (Trust Me) There Is No Accidents
As long as my body is pressed inflexibly against someone else's body other than yours.
Am I right?
You could never ruin what we're in for if you tried, I promise.
Would it satisfy you?
Track Name: Ain't Nothin' Monopoly Money Can't Buy
There is a boy who keeps my soul tucked up tightly in his back pocket's black wallet.
I sold it to him months ago, but this song has little or nothing to do with him.
Why do I try so hard everyday to alleviate the mistakes this heart has made when doctors make mistakes everyday in there own favor at the expense of others?
My hearts as deep as the ocean.
Maybe that's why I associate sea salts with you.
But before I say or do anything to dissolve myself: Why do I try so hard everyday to alleviate the mistakes this heart has made when doctors make mistakes everyday in there own favor at the expense of others?
Others, others, in decimals and dollars.
Now I know that you were know mistake, I swear it.
All I did was love to much.
All I did wrong was to love you to much and a little love never hurt anyone half as much as these poorly prescribed prescriptions.
Why do I try so hard everyday to alleviate the mistakes this heart has made when doctors make mistakes everyday in there own favor at the expense of...
Why do I try so hard everyday to alleviate the mistakes this heart has made when there is no mistake to alleviate because you were worth it.
Oh my God, you're still worth it...
Track Name: June 24th, 2006
Let’s make a toast to the holes in our beds where Winter and Autumn once kissed and had slept.
(And that’s when everything went black.)
Let’s have one last dance in this cold parking lot.
With the beat of the waltz, we collapse on the rocks.
(I wish that I could drive you off a bridge.)
This is love hands down, so blow those birthday candles out.
I'll believe in you as long as you'll believe in me so tilt back your head and let's drink to believing 'cause you're beautiful and you best know by now that I know it and believe it with the whole of my heart.
And I started to say your name ends and begins with an "A".
This way no one will ever have to ask who this song's about again, I guess.
I guess things like this are easier said than executed.
Execute me.
My heart is yours, so shoot me...
Track Name: What Matters Most: Part II
You know things about me that even I've forgotten.
I made some promises in poems and black boxes with no intentions to break them, despite past inclination.
We all make mistakes and I know you've made a few, And I can't help wondering if I was one of the few.
Because my heart is too fast and my tongue is two seconds too slow.
Does this sound familiar?

I still can't lie backwards on my bed without feeling your hot strawberry kiwi breath on my lips and your hands on my... hands.
This is why I go to the store sometimes just to buy what serves as a chaser for their messily mixed drinks that I don't even drink half the time.
And on that night, I hid that mixer right underneath Megan's bathroom sink.
How dare they drink the liquid remnants of my memory
that even I cannot keep the same way that I keep the remains of your love on my ceiling in that sea of faces.
And it's blood red and permanent.
In my heart and in my head and inside of your irises.
And on that one and only night that I allegedly saw you cry.
In the reclining chair, well I've been meaning to ask, did we share one more kiss?
Fleeting, you brushed your lips with my lips.
So fast, I thought a ghost running bases did it.
Can you please forgive me for each should be dead memory that I have revisited?
Track Name: It's All About The ___ We'll Never Have
I kissed your hips and in a nervous fit your body began to shake just like a natural disaster.
The Richter Scale is reading 10 and your fashionable frame has razed all questioning.

And I should not, will not, cannot sleep.
Should not, will not, cannot bear to dream.

Sit back, shut up.
Jump out the window love.
No, comeback inside and lets lay side by side while you breathe through my lungs 'cause I can't run as fast as you can.
No, I was not meant to chase you.
I was not meant or made to, no; I was not meant or made to.

And I should not, will not, cannot sleep.
Should not, will not, cannot bear to dream and I'm hoping so hard that you know what I mean.

And that just was not part of the plan...
And just between us and the man behind the curtain, your thumbs final direction is yet to be determined.
And just between us and the man behind the curtain, your thumbs final direction is yet to be oh, never mind, just forget about it, I swear to God, I am fine.
(I was meant to drink tea with you)
Track Name: Song One
Are you having trouble figuring out what is real and what I'm making up?
[Here we are and here I am]
Well, that makes two of us because I found you the most perfect ring at the bottom of the box, so I stole it; all amber and orange; edges serrated, dated 1943.
And in the morning when I reached in my pocket for it well, darling, is not that the irony between you and me?

Give me one more White Russian and maybe then I will tell you what my tattoo's all about even though I know you already know deep down.
We're so down.
Oh, I'm so down.

Are you having trouble figuring out what is real and what I'm making up?
That makes two of us, because I still cannot pry my trembling fingers from your mouth

Give me one more White Russian and maybe then I will tell you just how much I wish you'd paint me something beautiful in hues of you to dream of while I'm sleeping on the train back home.
Track Name: Song Four
Does she always say things like that?
Please oh, please no further questions, I don't want to think about them.
And I thought she didn't, but she does.
And this is our fate, those whose hearts refuse to disconnect themselves from whatever it is in our lives that we see when we shut our eyes.
I never wanted to be enough, I just wanted to be something worth it.
I never wanted to be enough, I just wanted to be worth all of the trouble that I cause.
Forgive your heart, oh, I double dog dare-you.
Pull back the curtain and let the boy behind it love you.
And maybe we'll meet in another life, babe, and I'll have been made right.
And this is our fate, those whose heads refuse to disconnect themselves from the faces and places and dates that make us and have made us.
And I can't keep your attention for more than a second sometimes.
And I can't keep your attention, and I doubt that you've listened, so please, listen!
I never wanted to be enough, I just wanted to be something worth it.
I never wanted to be enough, I just wanted to be worth all of the trouble that I cause.
Track Name: January 11th, 2004
And no on said "no", sliding down your throat...
Track Name: And No One Said ''No''
Does this still remind you of the season where the trees shed all their leaves?
Well, isn't that just terribly ironic?
So pull the poem off the paper from the drawer where you keep your letters.
Let's try to fit these words you've written to these chords.

Take these leaves and bury me beneath your sheets.
I promise not to make a sound.
You and me, you know that we never had a chance 'cause I can't breathe when you're around.

I plan on making you believe that I am more than wilting leaves that fall off from the shaking trees in fall.
I'll be the blood dried on your cheek that stains your sheets while your asleep; the scars that hide beneath your sleave from all.

Take these leaves and bury me beneath your sheets.
I promise not to make a sound.
You and me, you know that we never had a chance 'cause I can't breathe when your tongue's in my mouth...

Someone call the mortician to piece this death together.

And no one said "no" sliding down your throat.
And no one said "no" sliding down my throat.
I will never be 18, oh no!
I will never be 18, but I am and you were.
Now I am older than you were then, whatever that means.
[Please treat me like the monster I am inside, whatever that means.]

These songs won't save my life.
[I am so tired of being this sick. I'm so sick. And as far secrets go, I think that I love this, you know? And that's so, so sick... God, I am so, so sick.]
No, these songs won't save my life, but how I wish they could just bring me back to life.
[And I have heard that sex is all the rage these days.]
Am I dead or am I alive?
Am I dead or am I dying?
Oh, I am so alive.
But you know I'll die before you die!
Track Name: February 14th, 2007
I stumble into your room and I freeze because the way you hold your eyes in mine sometimes paralyzes me better than any anesthesia after any accident or the shock of every car wreck that I've ever been in.
And you should know, if I still had my soul in my name, it would be yours in a blink.
I've got a fever of 103 and I'm exactly where I want to be.
And you let me sleep between your sheets despite the heaving of your breathing and the beating of my chest that never ceases to scream your name in every song that I sing and every dream that I claim.
And you should know that you're the best thing that I've found.
She loves lilies and doves and me in the best way that she can and for that I am so grateful and so thankful.
And I know that she can't stand to see me on my knees in desperate elegance.
(I just want to paint my world in hues of orange and white.)
You are the rain and snow and heat that resides down deep in side of me and I thank you for the pieces of your timeline and your heart and your life that you've given to me and that's the greatest gift I have ever received.
Please, oh, please just don't forget about the blue eyed girl who you mean the world to.
And I love you.
I wish it was as easy as it sounded...
I just want to paint my world in hues of orange and white.